Don't think Sam is mine

I have a very strong feeling that my daughter was swapped at birth.


A few weeks ago, she had a day off work, and I dropped her off at Fareham to do some shopping, while I went off to a review about Steven then popped back, met up and had some lunch with her. It was then that she told me about the bits she had bought, (she is now enjoying life, spending her well earned money on herself and not her ex).

Well she had bought a couple of tops, pair of boots and pair of shoes, it was then that I realized she was not mine.

She said while in the shoe shop, they had one shoe of each size on the shelf with a sticking saying buy one get one free on it, so what did my 'so called' daughter think and do, yep, she actually asked the sales assistant if it meant you got the other shoe free, in other words you buy the ONE shoe from the shelf and the other ONE was free.

I could not believe it, I asked her if she was serious did she know know shoes/boots come in PAIRS.


The conclusion I have come to is, either she was swapped at birth or I have been buying her clothes and PAIRS of shoes far to long.

no hubby...

It's been a busy few days, hubby left to work in Swansea on Monday, has not been too bad, apart from littlen on Monday, kept calling his dad and was a little disappointed that he was not here, but yesterday and today, has been fine, trouble is he is due home again tomorrow and away again next Monday, so think the next 8 weeks are going to be fun.

The other thing I find is had a vets visit (20 mile round trip) and had to take Steven with me, also tonight when Clive is normally putting him to bed, I will have to drag him out to pick Sam up from college. Could be worse, he is not having too many paddies, I try and get his mind off them, by asking if to do or find something, sometimes it works, other times it don't, saying that it could be because he is getting most of my attention as hubby not here.

I've had a head cold since Saturday evening, but am feeling better today, got a lovely red sore nose though. It was great fun as this week managed to paint the ceiling, (five coats in all), so I've done a good workout with going up and down the ladder for a tissue, and drink, then the loo, and of course the paint, surprisingly I never had the time or energy for the gym. Saying that I did go today, but stuck to the treadmill and some weights as don't think my arms could cope with the cross trainer. Am hoping to go for a little workout again tomorrow before coming back to paint the coving, then that will be the dining area ceiling and coving finished, HOORAY I say, as a little rest from painting, as the lounge has not been done yet. Not managed to fit the plaster in as half term, appointments etc. saying that got appointment as school on Friday, hence why I'm going to the gym again tomorrow, as when I logged in today, I had not been since the 14th Feb. Well it's because of half term and I was doing other things like, bowing, the penny arcades, visits to bottle banks, and the best, pub lunches with Steven, well we've out grown McDonald's, lol.

While I'm typing this, I have Steven lying across me, watching Balamory, great the one day I have to keep him up, he is tired, why is it always the way, he could be in bed by now and I could be making a Mothers Day card. Also mums Birthday on the 14th March, in fact have 7 Birthdays next month, oh well, that's life, going to see if I can incise him into playing with his cars to wake him up a bit.

Think I've lost it!!!!!

In an earlier post 'In shock' I said romance was not dead even after nearly 20 years of marriage, sounds OK but we've been married 23 years in August, LOL...

All I can think of is that it's been so lovely that some of the years rolled into one (or 3 in this case), lol. The reason I remembered was talking to someone the other day, saying 2010 is a BIG year for us, starts off with,...

My nephews 30th Birthday in the April
My mum and dads 50th wedding Anniversary in the May,
Clive's 50th Birthday in June
Steven leaves school in the July for good (am not really looking forward to that one though),
Our 25th Wedding Anniversary in the August
and..
My nieces husband, will be 40 in the September.

Thinking that about it, it was the year 2000, when it was another BIG family year, as all the Birthday people were 10 years younger, also my daughter was 13 and my niece was 18 in the Sept.


That was the the year we all went on a BIG family holiday to Orlando, it was my children's first time aboard, I know!! they were deprived as Sam turned 13 while on holiday and Steven was 9 1/2, and lots of people take their children a lot younger than that, when they are babies in fact, but we could never really afford it, and I won't borrow money to go on holiday, we only go when I've saved the money up. Since that first time, we tend to do a BIG holiday every 3 years (that's how long it takes me to save for them, LOL) and little ones in between,

In 2003 (the year Sam left school) we went back to Orlando for a week, we also swam with the dolphins while there, then flew up to San Fransisco, stayed there for 4 days and did all we wanted there, then flew on to Hawaii, which was fab, out of this world, am hoping to go back there.

Then in 2006 did a Caribbean cruise which took in Grand Cayman, Jamaica, Haiti and Mexico, the latter two did not do anything for us, but would LOVE to go back to the Grand Cayman, and parts of Jamaica (Steven was poorly there so did not see everything we wanted to).

As yet this year has not been sorted, but to be honest now Sam is older (but mainly because she's got rid of that boyfriend) we don't mind leaving her here alone, so think we will take things as they come along, also with Sam I never took her out of school for holidays, but with Steven it's a little different, as he's learning 'social skills' all the time, especially when we are out and about, so he is always learning either while he is at school or with us, also if the place is less busy, he learns more.

There are things and places on my 'to do' list like.... see New York, go through the channel tunnel, Copenhagen, Portugal to name just a few, so we'll just have to wait and see what comes along.

Well we did it!!!!

Signed our wills that is, you cannot say I rush into things can you, as I first thought about making a will (mainly because of Steven) back in September 2001, in fact I organized a speaker to come and talk about wills and trust funds at Steven's school. Quite a few parents/carers did turn up and even made appointments to get their wills sorted, but me, well I kept leaving it, I suppose hoping it will go away, always finding excuses Clive away, Steven around, cannot think of who to name etc.

I even went to a talk with another mum in September 2006, yep still no time to sort it out though, but then with all the 'Enduring Power of Attorney' changing last October, and if we did not go for it then, it would work out even more expensive that it already was.

So last August got the ball rolling, well still kept putting it off the actual signing, but there is a chance that Clive might have to work away so thought better do it now, otherwise another 6 months will go by, LOL. So even though it's half term, and had Steven home, went for it and did it.

I think all along it's the reading and sorting out what will happen to Steven when we go, we both find it very difficult thinking about it, find it very depressing, but it's done now, when we get the copies and invoice through the post, will bring it all back, but then we can forget about them, as hopefully they will not be needed for a VERY VERY long time to come...

In shock

Clive and I only sometimes do Valentines, (used to when we were courting, always red roses), but now we look it as too commercial, sometimes I make the odd card and if Clive happens to be at a shop and remembers gets me one, but it's not a thing that worries either of us if the other forgets.

Well this year, as I said in another post, I made hubby one, and also got him a CD he wanted, (nothing to play it one as our CD player is broken, LOL) but this year he went into a little sulk as he thought we were not remembering. I told him the only reason he got the CD now, was because he might be working away soon, and I thought it would be nice having the CD before going (Birthday not till June), and the card, well I was just in the mood for making a card, was suppose to be making an 18th (as Steven had a 18th disco to go to).

Well I thought Clive was happy with this answer, as we carried on with the day with nothing else being said about it, then after Clive put Steven to bed, he was up on the computer as usual, after a while he came down and ask where my 'foldy thing' was, meaning the card scorer, then ask where some glue was, all the time telling me not to look at what he was doing on the dining room table, (that does not sound too good, does it, LOL).

Anyway, Clive had made me a card, first time ever, after all the times of saying, why do I bother, when you can buy them for half the price and time (yes with what I buy, it would have worked out a lot cheaper, if I had never started buying craft things, it fact could have done a holiday abroad easy LOL).

The card was a picture of Clive and myself taken at our formal dinner on the cruise we went on a few years back, he had put a couple of lines on his chin (making him look like a dummy) with the words underneath saying,

"Having to 'break in' a new ventriloquist's dummy, was not the ideal start to Maria's showbiz career..."

Do you know what, that card bought tears to my eyes, it meant so much to me, saying that, not only had he made me the card, but earlier that day, Clive scraped the ice off his own car, while I was taking Steven to the school bus, so I could come back get straight in the car and get to the gym. (I DON'T do ice scrapping, as my car is always in the garage, so does not get frosty).

So to me that was a perfect Valentine day, as to me the little things, like the scrapping the ice and making me the funny little card, means that love is still alive with us, even after nearly 20 years of marriage.

Trouble is, have since told Clive, that he is going to have to make my Mothers Day and Birthday cards now, no excuse for forgetting, LOL

......not sure if he still loves me now.....

Busy Day

Well had a productive but tiering day today, started off putting littlen on the bus, then shot off straight to the gym, did 30 mins on the cross trainer, 10 mins on the treadmill and finished off with the full weights routine.

Came home cleaned the new ceiling and coving with sugar soap mix, had shower, hung some washing up outside (another lovely day again), shot down town to get hubby The Kinks CD (for tomorrow) also Steven has been invited to an 18th Birthday party on Saturday, and another friends daughter is 17 on the Sunday, so nipped in a few shops to find some girly bits.

Off to Asda to do my food shop (that I did not do yesterday), came home, put it away just in time to pick littlen up off the bus. Then it was Steven's time... he uses his PECS in the same way every time he comes in the house, I want apple, I want crisps, I want banana, I want drink, then I want drink (again) then I want video, so it's up and down and in and out the kitchen, till he is sorted, by then it was 4.30 and Claire (his sessional worker) was here to take him out for tea.

So after waving him off, got the washing in, changed into the work clothes, and sealed the ceiling with a '1 to 5' PVA mix. Quick shower again, then started tea, Clive did a chilli, while I went outside and pick some fresh mint, parsley and chives for a yogurt dip, diced up some tomato, spring onions and cucumber for the tacos, and sat down and had tea with Clive (Sam at college) finished tea just in time as Steven was home, sat down and watched Balamory with him, before giving him a shower, then Clive put him to bed, while I nipped out and picked Sam up from college, came home tidied the kitchen, sat down had quick chat with Sam, then sorted out the paper work for the Serena (that we have to take with us on Friday). Just made Clive a card for tomorrow, well with me I always leave things to the last minute, so now about to get the breakfast and lunch bits sorted for tomorrow.

So off to well deserved bed, as hoping to do roughly the same tomorrow, the gym, 2nd seal on the ceiling, decorating shopping, dropping off one of the birthday presents, also got my mum and dad popping in, phone calls to vets, Stevens gym etc. etc. so night...

Change of plans

Well the idea for today was, after putting Steven on the school bus, to come home, do some washing, tidy up, sort out the porch for charity bag (have not had another one in yet, but wanted to be ready, as you never know what might stop you doing it on the day, LOL)
do a 2 weeks menu (as half term next week), shopping list, shopping and put away, well...

...it started off OK, managed to do some tidying up while doing 3 loads of washing, making the most of the weather and getting some hung outside, did the menu's and shopping list, then I suggested to Clive about having a quick look at a Nissan note and Honda jazz, as I had been reading up on them.

Not sure if I've said before, but have had a Nissan Serena for the last 7 years, a great car, but feel it's too big for just nipping round town now, since we got rid of the caravan, and Sam has grown up, (as used to take her and her friends out on school days off) and apart for a new tyre and a couple of bulbs, never paid out on it. I loved the idea of the sliding doors that it had, but that limited to what I could get. I took a dis-like to the Kangoo and the Berlingo, I don't know why, just did not feel right, hard to explain as I've seen them driving around and thought they were the answer but when I went and actually looked in one, just did not have that "feel". So last night thought it was time to change the 2lt, 7 seater car, but as never had any problems thought would stay with a Japanese make, so started nosing on the internet and came up with the 'note' and 'jazz', so hence, Clive was free and thought we could fit looking (and getting a feel of) the cars and see if the wheelchair would fit in the boot, as it would not be worth looking any further if it did not, well...

...we went to Nissan first as it was nearest and looked at the 'note', nice car, but felt it was not much different in length to my Serena, so that one went out the window, which meant the 'Jazz' which was round about the same size would be too, so I thought back to the drawing board. While walking back to the car, saw the new shaped Micra, (Clive has the old shape, nice little car, I love nipping round town in it), then noticed they had 5 door ones, thought hang on here they are quite nifty cars to drive, so first of, went through MY checked list...

the mileage, (just over 6,000. not to bad, was a year old),
5 doors,
3 proper seat belts at the back,
air conditioning,
wheelchair fitted in the boot,
and lastly the main thing, "it felt so good to sit in",

so yes all "MY" boxes ticked, colour was nothing special, think they call it metallic silver, but I call it dirty Grey, so instead of doing a food shop, bought a car instead, LOL.

Felt we had got a good deal on my Serena, (which is 10 years old, and full of dents) first time Clive and I have ever haggled before, but felt we had nothing to lose, as it's not as if we were desperate for a car. Was talking to a friend this evening, she has just changed her car and only got £2,000 more than we did for her 3 year, hardly no dents in, car, so felt quite chuffed, as Clive and I set on a price between us, but then decided to push our luck and haggled a bit and managed to get it £300 less than we planned, so I'm one chuffed so and so at the moment (smug look on face). We collect it Friday at 12.30.

The only down side is, still have to fit in the food shop, not one of my 'loves', bit like the ironing, as no sooner than you do it, it's needs doing again, how dare they eat the food I buy, LOL.

Life on the edge...

Right was going to tell you about not getting the charity bag out on time, well...


... I started last year, by emptying Sam's room, well floor of rubbish, ended up with about 13 black bags and 5 very large boxes in our new shed, and that was a start, at least I could see the colour of the carpet, and the idea was that every week I would bring in a bag or box until they were sorted. So with this every week I would end up with a carrier of rubbish, another of recycling and another for charity, well the latter would be placed in the porch until a charity bag came round, well one did. So there was me sorting out the bits to put safely in the bag, when I saw a shadow at the door, so opened it to find a young policeman, he ask if my daughter lived here and then asked if she was in.

Well the answer to that was 'yes' she lived here, 'no' she was at work and it's about 'Shane *******' (my daughters ex-boyfriend) and the next thing I asked was what has he done now.

...........He had been reported missing

My daughter has not had a lot of luck with boyfriends, she has only had 2, the first kept her quiet, told her that she was not allowed to tell anyone that they were going out, as his friends would have thought he could to better, they went out for about 9 months, in which my daughter ended up with a lot of problems including nearly anorexia, he convinced her she was fat, (she is a size 10). Eventually she saw sense and split with him, her 2nd boyfriend was this Shane, he worked as a trainee manager where she worked on Saturdays.

Now this relationship started off fine, he was a nice young lad, great with Steven, then I don't know but call it a mothers instinct, but a few months into the relationship I felt something was not right and to cut a long story short, he was a gamberler, he sold every thing she/we bought for him, he never kept a job more than a few weeks, (either got stacked or walked out). She ended up paying for everything, including 5 weeks holiday to Orlando, spending money, park passes, swim with the dolphin etc. It hurt to see this but she knew, I knew and how I felt, (got to a stage that he was not allowed in the house, as he could not be trusted). But I never told her to leave him and there were way round it if they wanted to live together, thankfully she saw sense last October and dumped him, you could say it was one of the best day of my life' how I did not jump up and down and hug her I don't know, I just said 'oh right, that's nice', or something along though lines.

She was still keeping in touch with him, which I would rather she did not, but again, had to bind my time, anyway back to the policeman.

Well I invited the policeman in, and said I would try and get Sam on the phone, as I did not like the idea of him turning up at the dentist she worked out, (even though all the people she worked with knew what her ex was like and would not have been surprised, but had to think of the shock that she would have been in if he turned up asking for her, she would not have clicked it was about Shane, like I did). It seems his mum had reported him missing that morning as she had not heard from him for 3 weeks and had been (again) been chucked out of his flat for non payment of rent (this would have been the 3rd time that I knew about, the other 2 all he had was the clothes he had on, after the locks had been changed through no payment of rent, as he gambled it way).

Well managed to get Sam on the phone and explained before passing it over to the policeman, who then asked her questions, like who were his friends (had none, owned them money) places he hung out.. casinos, moneylender shops, snooker halls, pubs, (he was repeating everything Sam told him, as he wrote it down). Anyway the police went off just asking us if he gets in touch to tell them, and by this time the charity bags had been collected, mine was still half filled in the porch.

Later that evening Sam got a text from his mum saying he has been found, he had moved but had forgot to tell her.

Today Sam had the day off, I had a revue meeting for Steven, but before that dropped her off at Fareham, where she was meeting up with an old school mate, did ask her on the way if she had heard from 'HIM' but she said seeing he had sold his phone, to pay for a bet, and has since walked (or sacked) so no money to buy one, she had not, and actually said she hoped she did not...

Shame really, what a waste of a young life, he is only 22, and before you ask, yes we did try Gamberlers anonymous, but he has to emit he has a problem, before he can be helped and he won't,

Sam tried to help and to me in the 3 years she was with him, she grew up a lot.

Up date of my ten things to do

1 The decorating is going well, the stripping has all been finished, (apart from the bit behind the BIG heavy unit), also the dining room ceiling/coving has been done,

2 Clive and I sort of spent time together, if you count him at the dining room table (modeling, more about that another time, LOL) and me spread all over the floor scrapping.

3 Not had time to start learning more about the business.

4 Spending more time with friends, yes most definitely, been texting, phoning and visiting the mum of the boy who had the brain op, (he is doing OK, had the staples removed last Wednesday, and results due on 5th Feb).

5 Reading, no joy, not even had the time to read the TV mag.

6 Scrapping, have 3 pages started, still got the journaling to sort out, then the sticking.

7 Bath, yes managed to get 'one' in last month.

8 Tummy, well no joy there, still eating the sweets we had for Christmas, I have to eat Clive's share, as he is being good with the diet.

9 Have made some Birthday cards, with old stash, but also did buy a few bits when I went the craft show in Farnborough.

10 Did start to do a charity bag, but got stopped by the police turning up, will explain about that another time.


So in all, not a too bad start to the New Year....