my world has changed.....

My dad past away just over a week ago, (in some ways it feels like longer, but in the next minute I feel it's all a dream), it was such a shock, in fact he was talking about Newcastle going down just before he left us....

my mum and dad had been together for 55 years, starting out as a young 11 and 13 year old... they were lucky to have celebrated their 49th Wedding Anniversary a few days earlier, but dad didn't make it to he's 69th Birthday, to me 68 is way to young....

I am lucky to say he was my friend as well as my dad, don't get me wrong, we didn't always see eye to eye, yet I could tell him to 'shut up' if he wound me up or upset me, then in the next instant talk to him about it being the wrong time of the month if I was ratty or had a tummy ache...

I think we had a great relationship and I'm going to miss him dreadfully, I'm so pleased he didn't suffer though (OK he did with the treatment) but not in the end... he was with the women of he's life, my mum, sister and me, I was holding he's hand...and I can honestly say to my daughter he died peacefully, he just looked up at my mum and fell asleep........

In fact that's why I find it so hard to believe I won't see him again, as he looked like he was just asleep, it's hard to think I won't be able to laugh and joke with him, for him to do 'round around the garden' with Steven, or try to sing along with the teletubbies (which he never did get the hang of, lol)

How do I tell Steven the man he loved and looked forward to seeing, is not here any more.... I'm lucky I've had a few emails with addresses and words of help from people, and we've decided to say 'grandad' has gone up to heaven' and we plan on getting a balloon, putting grandads picture on it, so Steven can release it and we can wave goodbye.....

dad, I might not be seeing you again here on earth, but I have lots and lots of happy memories and can honestly say I was proud to be your daughter RIP