Monday, 11 February 2008

Life on the edge...

Right was going to tell you about not getting the charity bag out on time, well...

... I started last year, by emptying Sam's room, well floor of rubbish, ended up with about 13 black bags and 5 very large boxes in our new shed, and that was a start, at least I could see the colour of the carpet, and the idea was that every week I would bring in a bag or box until they were sorted. So with this every week I would end up with a carrier of rubbish, another of recycling and another for charity, well the latter would be placed in the porch until a charity bag came round, well one did. So there was me sorting out the bits to put safely in the bag, when I saw a shadow at the door, so opened it to find a young policeman, he ask if my daughter lived here and then asked if she was in.

Well the answer to that was 'yes' she lived here, 'no' she was at work and it's about 'Shane *******' (my daughters ex-boyfriend) and the next thing I asked was what has he done now.

...........He had been reported missing

My daughter has not had a lot of luck with boyfriends, she has only had 2, the first kept her quiet, told her that she was not allowed to tell anyone that they were going out, as his friends would have thought he could to better, they went out for about 9 months, in which my daughter ended up with a lot of problems including nearly anorexia, he convinced her she was fat, (she is a size 10). Eventually she saw sense and split with him, her 2nd boyfriend was this Shane, he worked as a trainee manager where she worked on Saturdays.

Now this relationship started off fine, he was a nice young lad, great with Steven, then I don't know but call it a mothers instinct, but a few months into the relationship I felt something was not right and to cut a long story short, he was a gamberler, he sold every thing she/we bought for him, he never kept a job more than a few weeks, (either got stacked or walked out). She ended up paying for everything, including 5 weeks holiday to Orlando, spending money, park passes, swim with the dolphin etc. It hurt to see this but she knew, I knew and how I felt, (got to a stage that he was not allowed in the house, as he could not be trusted). But I never told her to leave him and there were way round it if they wanted to live together, thankfully she saw sense last October and dumped him, you could say it was one of the best day of my life' how I did not jump up and down and hug her I don't know, I just said 'oh right, that's nice', or something along though lines.

She was still keeping in touch with him, which I would rather she did not, but again, had to bind my time, anyway back to the policeman.

Well I invited the policeman in, and said I would try and get Sam on the phone, as I did not like the idea of him turning up at the dentist she worked out, (even though all the people she worked with knew what her ex was like and would not have been surprised, but had to think of the shock that she would have been in if he turned up asking for her, she would not have clicked it was about Shane, like I did). It seems his mum had reported him missing that morning as she had not heard from him for 3 weeks and had been (again) been chucked out of his flat for non payment of rent (this would have been the 3rd time that I knew about, the other 2 all he had was the clothes he had on, after the locks had been changed through no payment of rent, as he gambled it way).

Well managed to get Sam on the phone and explained before passing it over to the policeman, who then asked her questions, like who were his friends (had none, owned them money) places he hung out.. casinos, moneylender shops, snooker halls, pubs, (he was repeating everything Sam told him, as he wrote it down). Anyway the police went off just asking us if he gets in touch to tell them, and by this time the charity bags had been collected, mine was still half filled in the porch.

Later that evening Sam got a text from his mum saying he has been found, he had moved but had forgot to tell her.

Today Sam had the day off, I had a revue meeting for Steven, but before that dropped her off at Fareham, where she was meeting up with an old school mate, did ask her on the way if she had heard from 'HIM' but she said seeing he had sold his phone, to pay for a bet, and has since walked (or sacked) so no money to buy one, she had not, and actually said she hoped she did not...

Shame really, what a waste of a young life, he is only 22, and before you ask, yes we did try Gamberlers anonymous, but he has to emit he has a problem, before he can be helped and he won't,

Sam tried to help and to me in the 3 years she was with him, she grew up a lot.

1 comment:

Susan said...

Poor lad, fancy being like that at just 22, feel very sorry for him and more for his mum.
Good job Sam saw sense though and I think you did very well not to try and influence her it must have been very hard not to interfere, you sound like a lovely mum :)